Hi! I've never blogged before, but decided to give it a go, as part of this new website for the counseling department. I'm not the best writer, and may not always use correct grammar, so please be gentle with your judgement. One of my goals this year is to do something I've always thought about doing. Well, blogging is one of those things...I'm not sure if I will like it or be any good at it, but there's no time like the present to try! I feel like I'm inviting judgement by sharing my thoughts and ideas in an unfiltered manner. However, I'm going to make the leap, and give it my best shot! Side note: I like to use lots of exclamation points, but will attempt to restrain myself in these posts. I'm not sure how often a new post will arrive, but I will shoot for at least 4 times per school year (once per quarter). Maybe more often, if I'm feeling inspired about a particular topic. My goal is to provide insights on subjects specific and meaningful for our students, with links to resources, related videos, and such. If you're still reading this, yay! I've captured your attention for 30 seconds. So, without further ado, my first official post is going to be about empathy: Picture carrying a heavy cardboard box filled with books, by yourself, and how awkward it is to carry/hold. Imagine 3 of your closest friends standing nearby and saying things like: "At least you're only carrying one box." "You should feel how heavy my box is!" "At least you have lots of stuff in your box to carry." Now picture those friends each taking a corner of your box and helping you carry it. That is empathy. Your friends coming alongside you and saying, "I'm sorry your box is heavy. Let me help you carry it." Having their help doesn't change the fact that there are heavy books inside, but it does help distribute the weight. Recently, the FHS counselors were at a training and a video was shown, attempting to describe what empathy is and looks like. Empathy is a natural instinct for some, but can take practice for most. Our instinct, especially when we hear about the hard things going on in someone's life, is to try and find the bright side to help cheer that person up. Surprisingly, though, this doesn't usually make the person sharing feel as good as we think it will. Or maybe you are the one doing the sharing; describing something difficult you are dealing with in your life. Then the person you're confiding in says something like, "Well at least you don't have it as bad as I do..." and goes on to describe the difficulty in their life, in an attempt to make you feel better. How does that end up making you feel? For me, I end up feeling like the person doesn't really want to hear what's going on with me. Or like what I'm going through isn't really that hard or I shouldn't be complaining about it. It makes me feel like maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. Does this sound familiar? My point in all of this is that we don't need to fix things for one another. We just need to be there and listen. There is power in the silence of listening to a friend, without feeling like you need to fix things for them or fill the space with unnecessary talk. This takes pressure off of you and off of your friend. The two of you (or more, if talking in a group format), can feel safe sharing and the relief that comes with it, knowing that you're sharing each other's burdens, rather than carrying them alone. Here is the video we watched at our training, which breaks down the difference between sympathy and empathy...give it look and let me know what you think in the comments. Thanks for reading! See you again next quarter (or sooner)!
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